Our Leap Of Faith
by psyche-personified
Summary: What if Sam had prayed to Gabriel after the events in Changing Channels? Sam and Gabriel must work out their feelings for each other while searching for a way to stop the apocalypse. Pre-5x10. Team Free Will gets their very own Trickster. Warning: LEMONS in store. Don't like it don't read it.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

As Sam stood in the motel bathroom, he hoped he was making the right call. That everything that had happened recently hadn't just been a figment of his imagination. That his… interest wasn't one-sided or merely his subconscious reaction to the tension between Dean and Cas.

Watching Gabriel just stand there under those sprinklers yesterday had been too much. Sam was willing to admit that he may have had the… occasional fantasy about the Trickster, over half the time they'd spent together had involved one of them pushing the other up to a wall, or the Trickster making innuendoes and waggling his eyebrows. Yesterday had shown Sam a different side of Gabriel, and, coming from his own rather fucked up family, Sam felt he could definitely relate. Your father is supposed to be the one person who will never let you down, but both of their fathers had failed on that point.

Sam took a shaky breath, exhaled and whispered, "Gabriel."

The bathroom remained empty and Sam laughed to himself, of course it wouldn't be that easy. He repeated himself, this time louder, while mentally thanking whoever that Dean had taken Cas out to get pie so there weren't any witnesses to what he was going to have to do.

"Gabriel, its Sam. I know you can hear me." Sam cringed as he thought of his next words, he'd only spent an hour or two rehearsing this conversation in an effort to relieve his tension, "I'm sure that I'm probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but I thought that we… that we could talk, or something. It… uh… it sucks trying to get approval from a guy that's never around, and I know… I know that it hurt when he… when he left, and I'm… I'm sorry Gabriel. I-"

Sam was cut off by a slow clap and a "Don't hurt yourself there kiddo." Gabriel was sitting about two feet away on the closed lid of the toilet looking more than a little smug. "Very cute attempt at an apology there Sasquatch, but I'm a bit confused as to why exactly you want to talk to me? Now, I have a couple blondes and a really big sundae to get back to so make your explanation quick."

"Uh… I just… Um, you see I thought that…" Sam stuttered trying to form a complete sentence; he hadn't actually expected Gabriel to show, and he definitely hadn't considered that the archangel might be angry; in hindsight Sam's plan wasn't as well thought out as he'd believed. "I thought that we could talk."

"Really?" Gabriel's voice was thick with sarcasm, his eyebrows arched. "Talk about what exactly? About you saying yes? Or how about your holy oil shenanigans? Or better yet about the part where your brother," Yelling, Gabriel stood and pressed a finger to Sam's chest "accuses the archangel in the room of being a coward? I could end you. Better yet I could set you in a loop forever witnessing the deaths of your loved ones – Oh wait! I already did that!" Taking a step away the archangel lowered his hands and his voice. "Don't ever, call on me again."

"Gabriel!" Sam said as the angel raised his hand to snap, "Wait. Just give me a minute."

The archangel stopped, looking up at Sam with disbelief. "Do you have some kind of death wish or are you just seriously masochistic?" Sam opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Gabriel again, "We have nothing to discuss, you and your idiotic brother need to accept your destiny and just say yes!"

Gabriel paused and Sam took advantage of the moment, "You are one helluva douchebag when you wanna be!" The angel opened his mouth to reply, but Sam kept talking over him. "You spend the entire time you have us in TV Land trying to prove this silly point that you already know is moot, because in case you haven't noticed, we will never say yes! But the most hilarious thing about that entire situation was that you didn't even mean what you were saying. You said that you love your brothers, and I'd have to be nine kinds of stupid not to believe that, but the thing is if Dean and I say yes, then you lose both of them." Sam shot Gabriel a knowing look. He'd realized early on the flaw in the whole apocalypse plan, both sides assumed that one leader would die and the other would take control. "If you know your brothers half as well as I think you do then you know I'm right. If Michael and Lucifer decide to have this cage match of theirs they will tear each other to shreds, and, if one of them miraculously comes out of this with the upper hand, they'll be so badly wounded that they can't be fixed. If we say yes, you lose them both."

"Shut up." Gabriel said weakly. He slumped back against the sink, his hands behind him supporting his weight.

The broken look in Gabriel's eyes was back. That same look Sam had seen in the warehouse, when Gabriel had said he just wanted it to be over. That same look from the Mystery Spot, when Gabriel had said that this had stopped being funny months ago.

"I'm sorry." Sam said reaching out to lay a hand on Gabriel's shoulder. The angel shrugged him off.

"You seem to be saying that a lot lately. I fail to see how those words do _anything_ but allow you to feel better about this mess you've created." Gabriel said sharply.

Sam looked down at the tiled floor, "Don't worry, they don't even do that." He shot the angel a self-depreciating smile. "Nothing I say can make what I did any better. Nothing I say can fix the mess I've made. All my words can do is try and convince you that I'm going to try with everything I have in me to find a way for everyone to come out of this alive."

Sam had moved closer to the archangel; they stood almost toe to toe. Gabriel looked up into Sam's eyes, caramel boring into hazel. "Goodbye."

And then he was gone.

Well, Sam thought to himself, that didn't go the way I'd hoped. He left the bathroom, planning to go to sleep. His feet dragged as he crawled into the motel bed, worn out from the encounter. He lay in the small motel bed with his eyes closed, but sleep evaded him. Sam heard his brother come in and listened as he went through his nightly ritual before falling asleep; Dean's soft snores eventually filling the small room. Try as he might Sam couldn't fall asleep; he kept seeing the look on Gabriel's face as he'd left. If Sam had thought he and Dean were broken, they had nothing on Gabriel.

As the dawn light began to creep into the room, Sam finally fell into a restless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I would just like to say thank you to everyone who followed and favorited this story, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your support. I literally started crying on Monday when I saw how many people had read this fic and actually liked it enough to add it to their favorites. And a special thanks to Leya for my first ever review, thanks for really looking at and reading the story. I hope you all enjoy this, and the chapters will get posted every Sunday. :D**

Chapter 2

Sam and Dean were in Hannibal, Missouri; they'd just finished up a routine salt and burn and were enjoying the rest of the evening off. Dean was off at the local bar, while Sam had opted to stay back at the motel. He'd done most of the digging at the cemetery and a long hot shower sounded like the perfect way to end the case.

Dean had been burying himself in research, trying to find a way to stop the apocalypse. In the meantime he had the two of them working nonstop; the day before last they'd been in Atchison, Kansas hunting a werewolf, and three days before that Dean had them in Lamar, Colorado taking out a small demon infestation. It had been eight days straight of driving and work. Sam knew that Dean was running from what Gabriel had said in the warehouse; he hadn't told Dean his theory yet. The younger Winchester had a feeling that saying, "You know Dean its okay if we fight it out, because if you ended up killing me you'd probably be dead too, and vice versa" wasn't going to remedy the situation.

Yeah, a shower sounded good.

After a good forty minutes under the hot spray, some of the tension had left Sam's shoulders. Stifling a yawn as he left the bathroom to change into a pair of sweats, he thought perhaps he'd get a good night's sleep tonight, not that he'd been able to sleep well since he'd called on Gabriel. Between visits from Lucifer and dreams of Gabriel in the ring of fire, Sam hadn't been sleeping much. It had been six days since the archangel had disappeared in a whisper of feathers, and, despite the fact that Gabriel obviously didn't want his help, Sam still hoped that the angel would come back so he could at least try to help him.

Sam was just about to drift off when a soft rustle of wings stirred him awake. At first he assumed it was Castiel looking for Dean, but he felt his bed dip and opted to keep his eyes closed and feign sleep. Cas never got that close to him.

"You were right." It was so quiet Sam almost didn't hear it, but he'd know that voice anywhere, Gabriel. "They're both going to die, and I don't know how to stop it. I can't kill Lucifer, I don't have the guts for it, but I can keep him from visiting you in your dreams, at least for a while." A small, self-deprecating laugh fills the room. "What can I say, Dad made me his messenger; I'm a lover not a fighter." Sam felt the soft press of fingers against his forehead, a second later a soft chuckle escapes from Gabriel. "Well, at least Luci isn't bothering you right now. You can open your eyes Sam, I know you're awake, there's no use pretending."

Sam opened his eyes and sat up; he looked up at Gabriel, but looked away quickly, a blush beginning to form on his cheeks.

"I take it you heard all of that?" The archangel asked, though Sam knew it was really just a statement.

"Yeah. I heard everything." An awkward silence fell between the two, neither knowing where to start. Finally Sam remembered what Gabriel had been planning to do and said abruptly, "Can you really do that?"

"Do what kiddo?"

"Keep Sa- … Keep Lucifer out of my head?"

"That?" The angel's mouth turned up in his characteristic smirk, "Yeah, I can keep my brother out of your dreams." The smirk fell a little as he continued, "At least I can for a while, he shouldn't be able to in his current vessel, but… he's still my older brother, and he… he always was better at fighting than me."

Silence fell over the pair again, both reliving their past encounters with Lucifer. Gabriel leaned forward slowly, hand raised; he looked at Sam, silently asking for permission. With a small nod from the young Winchester, Gabriel set his hand against the humans head. Warmth washed over Sam, his eyes slipping shut as a soft light spread around him, and when the light dimmed away he felt safer, calmer, than he had in months. Opening his eyes Sam found Gabriel's face inches away from his; they both stared at one another until Gabriel pulled back quickly, clearing his throat.

"There ya go Sasquatch, crazy angel free from now until whenever." Gabriel said lightly, trying to cut through the palpable awkwardness in the room. Sam chuckled, and a small smile twitched across his face. Gabriel couldn't help thinking that Sam ought to smile more; kid could probably light a room when he was happy.

"Thank you, Gabriel." Sam said quietly, pulling the angel out of his thoughts, "You've done more for me than I could imagine; I don't how I'll ever make this up to you, but if you ever need a favor or five, you can call me."

Gabriel was stunned, after all the crap he'd put Sam through the kid thought he owed him something? "Consider this repayment for killing your brother over and over, and for giving you herpes."

It was Sam's turn to look stunned, "But I don't deserve your help. I mean I'm an ex-demon blood addict who jump started the apocalypse and you're an archangel! You should be smiting me for being an abomination, not helping me with my problems."

"Kiddo, you seem to be forgetting that I am not flawless, I spent the last few millennia hiding out as Trickster, I've killed people and I have burned bridges that I never thought I would. You're not the only one with a past here." Gabriel rested a hand on Sam's shoulder, willing him to see the truth in his words; the human took self-loathing to a whole new level, and the archangel knew in his heart that Sam deserved better than what he thought of himself. "Look Sam, you need to get some rest, you look like you've been run over by a bus. I'll be back in a few days to check on your head. Get some sleep."

Sam narrowed his eyes at the angel, debating whether or not to agree. He nodded slowly, "Alright, but this discussion isn't over."

"Mhm, sure." Gabriel said, hopping off Sam's bed. "See ya round Sammy boy." And with a snap of his fingers he was gone.

Sam slowly sank back under the sheets of the too short motel bed, Gabriel's words running through his head, and for the first time in almost a month Sam slept soundly.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: It's a short chapter today, but much more is coming. Thanks to everyone for all your support, I can't explain how much it means to me. Also this Tuesday afternoon precedes the one we see in the show**.

Ch. 3

As Gabriel lounged on his red leather sofa, his dog Hannah on his lap, his thoughts once again drifted back to oversized Winchester. It was strange, Sam was obviously capable of taking care of himself, but something about him brought out Gabriel's protective side. It had been millennia since he'd felt the need to care for the needs of someone other than himself. The pagan crowd wasn't very close knit, they were either too alike or too different to get along with each other; they practically oozed "don't play well with others". No, the last time Gabriel had felt anything remotely like this was when Castiel was still a fledgling. He chuckled to himself, the kid used to have some serious hero worship for his older brothers, but Gabriel had been the only one to really spend time with the little guy. Michael and Raphael were always busy trying to run heaven, and Lucifer was off getting himself fallen. Gabriel was the most involved with the regular angels, and Castiel had been… well, he'd been Castiel. Most of the other angels hadn't understood him or simply didn't put in the effort to know him; he had been the only one to really seek out the little guy. Rubbing Hannah's ears, Gabriel remembered all the times he'd found Castiel in that Tuesday afternoon, it was on one of those days that he had taken the little guy flying for the first time.

_Castiel was watching the human fly her kite. Lying on his stomach in the soft grass, head propped on his hands, gazing longingly at the kite floating on the breeze._

"_Hey little bro." Gabriel sat down next to the little fledgling; Castiel looked up at the archangel, blue eyes wide._

"_Hi big brother Gabriel." He said, awe in his voice; the little angel had never understood why Gabriel wanted to spend time with him, no one else ever did. Not that Castiel minded, he liked being on his own._

"_Whatcha doing?" Gabriel had asked, producing a lollipop out of the air, handing it to the little angel._

"_Watching the kite, I wish-" Castiel stopped abruptly and looked down, embarrassed._

"_You wish what?"_

"_That… that I could fly like it." He said softly._

_Gabriel smiled, ruffling the kid's hair, "I think I can help you with that."_

"_Really?" Castiel asked his voice full of hope, his eyes wide._

"_You betcha." The older angel said, scooping up his little brother and setting him on his shoulders. "Hold on tight little bro!" The little angel's arms and legs tightened around his big brother, giggles spilling out of him. "Here we go!"_

_Gabriel unfolded his six wings; they began beating faster and faster becoming a blur of gold and cream. As they rose in the air a soft gasp escaped from the fledgling on his shoulders. He took them up and up, passing the kite and the treetops, gliding high in the air exploring the huge park that the heaven was composed of. They must have been flying for a few hours. The pair finally landed back next to the woman and her kite, and Gabriel lifted the fledgling off his shoulders. Castiel wrapped his arms around his big brother's neck, pressing his face into the archangel's neck._

"_Thank you." Castiel whispered, and Gabriel could feel tears fall on his neck._

_He held his baby brother closer to him, lightly touching his grace to the Castiel's, letting him feel how much he was loved, "Not a problem little bro, you can call me any time, I will always come when you call for me."_

Tears pricked at Gabriel's eyes, and Hannah snuggled closer to his side sensing his sadness. Breaking his promise to Castiel had been one of his biggest regrets after he left Heaven. He had felt him calling every day for months after he had gone, and it had torn him apart inside. Checking his watch he realized that it was almost time for him to visit Sam again, and he resolved to never hurt Sam like he had Castiel, and he would start rebuilding Cas' trust in him. He missed his baby brother; he'd spent too many years separated from those he loved.

As Gabriel searched out the grace that he'd left in Sam, he felt an out of place tug at the grace within him. Strange, he thought to himself, it seemed to be tugging him toward the location of the moose he was looking for.

He pushed the thought from his mind as he flew to meet Sam, renewed resolve in his heart.


	4. Chapter 4

Ch. 4

Sam was sitting on a box in Bobby's hall closet feeling like an idiot. He'd told Bobby and Dean that he was going for a walk, and this was the only place he could think to meet Gabriel without worrying about someone accidently walking in on him while they talked. Sam didn't really know why the closet was here, no one put coats in it; the small space was empty save for some old board games, a rake, and a few pairs of boots that looked like they were falling apart. He rolled his neck for what felt like the twentieth time and was about to give up and leave when suddenly he found himself with a lap full of angel.

"Samsquatch, if you wanted to get closer you could of just asked, I mphm-" The angel was cut off, Sam's hand covering his mouth.

"Gabriel, for once in your life, shut up" he hissed, "Bobby and Dean could hear you, and I don't feel like trying to explain this to them, do you?"

The Gabe squirmed out of the Sam's lap and snapped his fingers. "Soundproof, better?"

"Yes." Sam said from his seat on the box; it was odd looking up to the other man and apparently Gabriel thought so too, because that knowing smirk spread across his face again. "Are you gonna ask how I'm doing, or just stand there smirking all day?" Sam asked testily.

"Don't get you're panties in a twist kiddo, a guy's allowed to appreciate the view isn't he?" A blush spread up the young hunter's neck, and Gabriel found himself wanting to see if that flush spread anywhere else. He blinked quickly, trying to figure out where those thoughts had come from.

"Gabriel?" Sam said, the angel had gone suddenly quite.

"Hm?" Gabe mumbled snapping out of his thoughts. "Oh, right. So, been having slumber parties with my brother?" He tried to put his usual animation into his words, but the look that crossed Sam's face told him he wasn't fooling anyone.

"Nope, not since you put up that wall in my head." Sam answered, opting not to bring up the archangel's lack of focus. A silence filled the small closet, and when Gabriel failed to say anything Sam started to get worried. "Gabriel," he said, but there was no response from the archangel. "Gabriel!" he yelled, the angel looked up at him finally noticing that Sam was speaking. "What is up with you today?" he said, quieter than before. "Are you alright?"

Gabriel didn't know what to say, he kept getting distracted by the young Winchester and his grace was tugging at his thoughts trying to get him to pay attention to what it had to say.

"This isn't because of whatever you did to keep Lucifer out of my head, is it? Cause if it is you need to stop doing whatever you're doing." Sam reached up, touching the back of his hand to Gabriel's forehead.

Gabriel chuckled at the human sentiment, and pointedly ignored the goosebumps that covered him at the touch. "I'm an angel kiddo, we don't get fevers." He carefully removed Sam's hand from him, but he didn't immediately return it. Kneeling, he turned the human's hand over so he could study the palm. "The only way I could get sick is if I were stripped of my grace, and the only thing that can do that to an archangel is Daddy dearest." He began tracing a thumb over one of the deep lines in Sam's palm; he was too deep in thought to notice the hitch in Sam's breathing when he started. "If he hasn't taken that from me after all these years I don't think he will anytime soon. I hurt a lot of people when I left heaven, a lot of brothers who didn't deserve that kind of heartache." Gabriel looked up into Sam's eyes, and Sam saw the tears that refused to fall in the angel's eyes. "Why did I tell you that?" he asked tilting his head. "I talk too much when I'm around you, tell you things I shouldn't. What makes you so special?"

Gabriel's face was inches from Sam's, and it took everything in the human not to close the distance between them. "I don't know." Sam said hoarsely, his eyes bored into Gabriel's trying to untangle the emotions he saw there. "Cas will forgive you."

Gabriel pulled back, a wall coming down and covering the emotions in his eyes. "I never said anything about Castiel."

"You didn't have to, earlier you said you had hurt your brothers. You didn't say anything about your sisters, and I saw the way Cas looked at you. Like he was seeing a ghost, one he had given up on ever seeing." Sam tentatively reached a hand out, resting it on Gabriel's cheek. "He'll come round."

Gabriel couldn't resist turning into the warmth of Sam's hand, seeking comfort in the heat that radiated from the hunter. It was too hard to hide himself when he was in the human's presence; he'd spent years hiding his emotions and it was nice to just let go.

Sam didn't say anything when he felt hot tears fall against his hand. It was obvious that Gabriel needed this, needed to let himself feel for a while, and Sam was just grateful that the archangel felt safe enough with him to do that. The pair stayed like that as the tears continued to fall from Gabriel's eyes. When the tears finally stopped, Sam raised his other hand to cup Gabriel's face and wiped away the residue from the tears with his thumbs.

"He'll take you back." Sam said, removing his hands from the angel.

"How can you be so sure?" Gabriel asked, leaning back on the closet wall and fiddling with a tootsie roll he'd poofed into existence.

"He's your brother, and brothers will always forgive you. It just takes time." The surety in Sam's voice gave the angel some of the reassurance he desperately needed. "I mean look at Dean and I, he forgave me for starting the apocalypse and drinking demon blood, that's some pretty major forgiveness right there." Sam chuckled trying to bring a smile back to the angel's lips.

"Yeah, I guess it was." A small smirk graced Gabriel's face and Sam beamed back at him. "Of course you also had to prove that you'd changed. I haven't exactly done much to convince Cassie that I'm sorry I left."

Sam ran a comforting hand down Gabriel's arm, ignoring the tingles that shot through him. "Try talking to him; then you just have to do what you have to in order to be the brother he needs."

Gabriel smiled and covered Sam's hand with his. "Thanks for the pep talk kiddo." He said quietly. "I should go though, it's been almost twenty minutes and we wouldn't want Dean to come looking for you."

Sam removed his hand from under Gabriel's, "Yeah, I guess you should go. Thank you though, for everything."

"It's the least I could do Sam." Gabriel smiled. He stood up and was about to snap when Sam grabbed his wrist.

"Come back tomorrow?" Sam asked, "We'll still be here."

Smirking Gabriel replied, "I'm a busy man you know," Sam's face began to fall, "but I think I can pencil you in." Sam's face lit up and Gabriel smiled softly. "See ya tomorrow Samsquatch." And then the archangel was gone.

As Sam left the empty closet he couldn't shake the sparks running across his skin from Gabriel's touch. Making his excuses to Dean and Bobby, Sam went upstairs took a quick shower then curled up in bed. When he finally fell asleep he had an arm wrapped around a pillow pulled close to his chest. And would it have been wrong of him to admit that he wished that pillow was Gabriel's chest?

As Gabriel lay back on his oversized bed, he couldn't wipe the thought of Sam's smile from his mind and decided he would spend tomorrow morning figuring out what his grace wanted. When he finally fell asleep his arm was wrapped around his dog, her warmth pulled tightly against his side. And would it have been wrong of him to admit that he wished the weight and warmth came from Sam's body curled against his?


	5. Chapter 5

Ch. 5

Deep self-inspecting soul-searching had never been Gabriel's forte. In fact, one could easily claim that the archangel purposefully avoided the kind of introspection that can lead to acknowledging emotions and thoughts he wasn't exactly comfortable with admitting he had. Which is why said archangel-turned-trickster spent the next morning purposefully avoiding all thoughts of Sam Winchester and the niggling feeling in his chest as his grace tried to get his attention.

Gabriel spent the day thoroughly absorbed in his "work", spending a good nine hours teaching a McDonald's CEO that dumping the waste from a meat plant into the only river with drinkable water in a Kenyan town does not go over well. He didn't actually think he'd ever seen anyone consume that much water before; the CEO had just expanded the more he drank so he couldn't keel over before he learned his lesson. The already portly man had grown to almost the same size as a pregnant elephant before agreeing to permanently change his practices and build a few thousand wells all over the African continent. A job well done in Gabriel's opinion; unfortunately once he was finished the niggling feeling returned.

Humans lack the connection with their souls that angels have with their grace. To humans the soul is an intangible thing within them that defines their humanity but is totally disconnected from both their conscious and subconscious mind. On the other hand an angel's grace is similar to what the humans refer to as their conscience. Only it doesn't just dictate right and wrong. It's like a direct link from the angelic subconscious to the waking mind, and has a tendency to know things about an angel that they weren't even aware they knew. An angel's grace knows when it was created, when it will die, every choice that an angel can, will and could make. To be blunt it's personal. Sharing it with another angel requires the utmost trust; it used to be a regular form of communication in heaven, but sadly no more. There were too many secrets there now.

The persistent push of Gabriel's grace on his mind was driving him to distraction tugging him back towards Sioux Falls and the moose of a Winchester, but Gabriel didn't know why he wanted to go back and was getting considerably more pissed off as the hours ticked by. He didn't owe the Winchesters anything and though he was feeling a little protective of Sam he felt protective of fuzzy animals too; he didn't go around fixing all of their problems. But more than that he _said_ things around the younger hunter, things he didn't particularly want to say. After finishing with the CEO Gabriel had begun replaying the night before and with each repetition he got more and more frustrated, unable to figure out why he'd acted the way he had. He had cried over circumstances that he'd long ago accepted would never change, and had started poking at the defensive wall he kept wrapped around his emotions. Gabriel was feeling manipulated by his grace and by association Sam Winchester, and Gabriel hated being bullied.

Sam had waited in the hall closet for almost two hours before finally giving up. After the night before he had actually started to think that the archangel would start making his appearances regular, maybe even start opening up to him more. Apparently he'd been mistaken.

It was almost midnight and Sam was just about to fall asleep when wings rustled and a heavy weight settled on the edge of his bed. He sat up groggily rubbing a hand over his eyes. "Hey Gabriel, glad you came. Running a bit late though."

"Sorry Sasquatch, but unlike my little brother I don't drop everything to come and talk to you. I'm busy." Gabriel's tone was venomous, and Sam looked a bit startled. Gabe was lying though; he hadn't been busy at all. He'd spent hours doing absolutely nothing just so he wouldn't have to face the hunter, but when his grace got so worked up it started kicking him in the ribs from the inside, which was more painful than he'd thought it would be, he finally hauled ass back to the scrapyard.

After yesterday Sam hadn't expected this kind of reaction, perhaps after the first night but Gabriel had kept coming back and Sam didn't quite know what to think. He was acutely aware that he didn't deserve the archangel's help; he had brought these problems upon himself, and any help Gabriel gave him was out of charity or to achieve his own ends. Although seeing as he'd poked rather large holes in the archangel's plans for the apocalypse Sam failed to see why he was still there. The only thing he could think of was the wall in his head, and that was a shitty reason to force Gabriel to keep coming round. It would be easier on both of them if he just let Gabriel leave.

"Sorry for the inconvenience." Sam mumbled quietly, "The wall's still up so if you have other things to do you can go. It was stupid of me to think you'd be able to come out all the time. You can go, you don't owe me anything and I shouldn't be asking you to come around anyway. You have important work to do I'm sure. I don't want to hold you back." He rolled over squeezing his eyes closed to prevent the tears from falling, tugging at his blankets trying to get them to cover his shoulders. Gabriel deserved someone much better than him, but that didn't seem to make the words hurt less.

Gabriel stared shell-shocked after Sam as the hunter turned away. He opened his mouth more venom on his tongue, ready to berate the human for his foolish expectations but no words would form; it was like a hedgehog had set up camp on his voice box and the harder he tried to speak the more the spines dug into his throat. He wanted to rant, take out his frustration and confusion on Sam. He was an archangel dammit; he should be the one calling the shots, making demands and using the Winchesters to get what he wanted. His grace was screaming in his head, beating at his walls and telling him to take his head out of his ass and listen for a minute! But Gabriel didn't want to listen, he wanted to run far away from the Winchesters and his family and just hide until they all stopped fighting! If he didn't watch it and separated himself maybe it wouldn't hurt so much. Maybe he could pretend for just a little bit longer. The more Gabriel tried to speak the more frustrated he got, and after half a minute of trying to spit out the words he stood quickly, crossed the room and punched a hole in the wall.

Sam turned over, saw Gabriel's hand in the drywall and quickly rolled out of bed rushing to the angel's side. He removed Gabriel's hand from the wall before the angel could react and started examining it. "Shit, Gabe" Sam's eyes flicked from the bloody knuckles to the hole in the wall. "What the hell's up with you? You could have hurt-"

Gabriel wrenched his hand from Sam's grasp "Back off" he ground out before shoving his grace outward trying to put some distance between himself and Sam. He didn't want Sam's tender touches and concerned looks. He didn't want the tingling on his skin when Sam touched him. He didn't want to feel himself fill almost painfully full with joy at Sam's smile, but he felt all of that and more. And he wanted it. His head was spinning, and the wave of energy he released was much stronger than he'd thought it would be. Sam was propelled across the room like a rag doll.

Sam's body made a deep, sickening thud as it hit the opposite wall; a microsecond later Gabe's grace flattened his mental barriers like the walls of Jericho fell to the ram's horn.

That's when Dean burst through the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey everyone, I just wanted to say thank you to all of you readers, the response to this fic has been amazing! Now I'm sad to say I'm going to put you guys on hiatus for 3 weeks. I'm currently in college and as most of you know finals are coming up fast, and I happen to have 3 research papers to write. But Ch. 7 is currently looking to be the longest chapter yet, coming in at 12 word doc pages and counting. Thank you all for your support and I'll see you on April 5****th****!**

Ch. 6

Dean heard the sound of a wall breaking from downstairs; when he called to Sam and didn't get a response he bolted up the stairs, demon knife in hand. When he entered Sam's room and surveyed the scene he didn't really know what to think. Well actually, the second he saw his little brother unconscious on the floor and that Gabriel was in the room he was ready to barbeque him up some archangel wings; however, it was the next few seconds that threw him.

A look of devastation crossed the angel's face. Suddenly Gabriel was across the room gently cradling Sam's head in his lap, stroking Dean's brother's hair while whispering in a language that Dean couldn't understand but presumed must be Enochian. When a soft light began to fill Sam, Dean broke free of his surprised paralysis.

"Hey, feathers! Take your hands off my brother or I will light you up like a menorah!" Gabriel looked up, as if noticing Dean for the first time. The glow around Sam faded but didn't diminish entirely.

"Back off, Deano." The words came out harsher than they should have. Gabe should have cared, but he was a little busy trying to fix Sam, and if Dean kept him from taking care of his moose he was liable to act irrationally.

Dean began to inch forward but stopped as the air in the room seemed to expand around the angel on the floor, definitely not a good sign. "Look Gabriel, I don't know how you got past the wards, but right now it looks like you attacked Sam. So get yourself far away from my brother or you'll not be happy with what happens next."

Gabriel forced himself to look away from Sam and up at Dean; every fiber of his being screaming at him to fix Sam and fix him now.

"I'm not going anywhere." He began; Dean opened his mouth to speak but Gabe continued over him. "I'm going to sit here, heal your brother, and then I will move if I so choose. Do not think that you can dictate to me!" He turned his gaze back to Sam, and a soft light began to fill the young hunter once again. Gabriel surveyed the damage: two cracked ribs, one broken, a minor concussion, small skull fracture, broken wrist, dislocated shoulder, and a twisted ankle. He sat silently, methodically healing each injury ensuring that the bones and muscles knit themselves back together firmly to prevent them from weakening. Dean could only stand and watch as the archangel put his brother back together, and hope that was actually what was happening.

The light finally ebbed out of Sam's body and Dean moved towards his brother only to be stopped by an invisible wall. Gabriel rose, holding Sam in his arms "I told you to stay back." His voice was quiet, but the authority in its tone was palpable. He gently lay the sleeping hunter on the small bed, tugging the quilt up over Sam's shoulders, before placing a light kiss on his temple.

After taking a moment to ensure Sam was comfortable, Gabriel turned his attention to Dean, "We can continue this conversation downstairs." He said quickly walking past the older hunter and out of the room.

Stunned Dean looked from his brother's sleeping form to the empty doorway before quickly running to catch up with the archangel, one thought repeating through his mind: _What the fuck?_

When Dean got downstairs he found Gabriel in the living room, casually sprawled on a large red leather recliner that definitely did not belong in Bobby's living room. Seated on the couch was Bobby, who looked far from pleased at having an uninvited angel in his house.

After a minute of tense silence with all three men staring expectantly at each other, Dean finally asked the million dollar question "Gabriel, what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Sam asked me to come."

Dean looked shocked "Why in hell would Sam actually ask you to come here? Better yet why would Sam even talk to you? You currently rank number two on our list of heaven's biggest douchebags! The only reason you're not at the top of that list is because Michael and Lucifer are a more permanent pain in my ass than you are."

"Maybe if you'd actually been paying attention to your brother you would have noticed how much shit has been going wrong with him! You went to hell, boohoo, your brother has been getting mind-fucked by Lucifer for the last few months, but you have your head too far up your ass to even notice! Maybe Sam should have gone calling on me earlier, it's not like you were there to help him."

"That's rich coming from you! When exactly would Sam have gone calling for you? After you forced him to watch me die? Or wait, how about after _you_ told him that he needed to be Lucifer's bitch! Nothing like taking out your frustration at being Daddy's Little Drop-Out on the guy who's going to be ripped apart by your brother!" Dean's voice rose steadily, unable to keep his temper in check. Who was Gabriel to judge him?

"Oh, do you really want to into which of us has more Daddy issues here –" Gabriel started, but was abruptly cut off by a very irate Bobby.

"Would you idjits shut up and get down to what actually happened, because if you two don't get some sensible words outta your mouths in the next thirty seconds I won't be regrettin' the force I use. Now I want to know what in all hell just happened upstairs. Start talking."

Neither Dean nor Gabriel knew when Bobby had left the room, but the old hunter was currently glaring at them a gun in one hand and what both men presumed to be a holy oil Molotov in the other. Things started getting done.

Gabriel began by assuring the two hunters, though mainly Bobby, that Sam was perfectly fine and would likely wake up within the hour. He glossed over how Sam wound up against the wall in the first place and shrugged off Dean's questions about his reaction as "an angel thing". Gabe needed to have a private conversation with Sam before he said anything to anyone.

"Look." Gabriel said irately after half an hour of circling the same two questions, "It's late. We can do this later when Sam is awake. Right now only two things matter: one, I fixed Sam, and two, I fixed your wall. I'm going to get some sleep, feel free to do so also."

"Angels don't need sleep." Dean stated bluntly.

Gabe rolled his eyes; humans said the most obvious things. "I like it, so sue me. Goodnight." He said giving a little wave before disappearing.

He didn't go far though, just up the stairs to watch over Sam.

As he stood watch, Gabe tried to untangle the mess of emotions in his head, but he wasn't making much headway. His grace was being remarkably unhelpful, simply repeating stay, protect, stay, protect over and over. Had it been a person it would probably be rocking back and forth in the fetal position with its hands over its ears. Great, he thought to himself, I broke my subconscious. Ten more minutes passed and he continued to watch Sam; the only thing Gabriel figured out is that Sam was adorable when he slept, like a sleeping puppy. Emotions long buried began bubbling inside him, and he half-heartedly pushed them down. He was tired, and he'd never been any good at denying himself.

Sam opened his eyes slowly, trying to remember if he'd missed Gabriel's visit. Memories came back to him slowly, Gabe's anger, the hole in the wall. Finally he remembered the rush of air around him and the pain of hitting something solid. He sat up, gaze sweeping across the dim room, and saw the shadow of Gabriel leaning on the wall across the room. Twisting over, Sam switched the bedside lamp on. Sitting on the edge of the bed staring at Gabe he barely noticed that he was only wearing a pair of loose-fitting sweats. Sam wanted answers.

However, Gabe definitely noticed Sam's lack of clothing. He still didn't like that he noticed, but, damn if the hunter's body wasn't something to look at. Sam was all muscle under that soft plaid, Gabriel had never really noticed before. He pulled his eyes back up to look at Sam's face when the moose started talking.

"So Gabriel," Sam began, tone light and conversational, "care to explain why you threw me into a wall?"

Gabe's grace rocked faster at the reminder, and he panicked. "It's complicated." He muttered quickly, avoiding Sam's eyes and turning to leave.

Sam moved to block Gabe from leaving. "How about it's not?" his voice was serious and calm, but Gabe could see his anger in the tension of his shoulders. "You didn't have to come back. No one forced you to talk to me. You certainly didn't have to throw me into a wall to leave." Sam's voice started rising, his anger leaking out. "If you had a problem you should have said something. You could have just not come back!" Sam was now standing toe to toe with the archangel, looking down at him.

"I don't-"

"Don't try and tell me you don't know!" Sam took a step forward forcing Gabriel back. "You know exactly why you reacted the way you did!" He took another step forward; "you're just too scared to say it." Gabe had his back against the wall, and Sam had his arms on either side of the angel's head. "Why, Gabriel? What's got you so scared?" he yelled.

Sam was so close, his hips pressing into Gabe's, and Gabriel was so… tired. "This." He whispered, pulling Sam down and kissing him like his life depended on it. Sam froze, and Gabriel started to pull away thinking he'd just made a terrible mistake. "I'm sorry –"he began, but Sam grabbed his shirt and pulled him back.

"Don't be." He brought their mouths back together and deepened the kiss. Gabe slid his hands over Sam's shoulders before bringing them back to tangle in Sam's hair, tilting his head to gain more access. Their mouths opened, inviting the other in, and they mapped the contours of each other. Sam teased Gabriel, beginning to pull away, nipping at the angel's bottom lip before diving back in. One of Gabe's hands stayed twisted in Sam's hair, but the other slid down Sam's body memorizing the feel of taught muscles under fingers.

When they finally broke apart Sam rested his forehead against Gabriel's, both of them taking a moment to catch their breath. Sam chuckled and Gabriel could hear the smile beneath it. "Don't think that gets you out of answering my question." Sam said, pulling back slightly.

Gabe smiled crookedly up at him. "Damn I was hoping you would have forgotten." His smile faltered slightly. "Can we talk about this in the morning? I… I don't think I have an answer right now." Sam pulled back, and the look in his eyes told Gabe he was hurt by his reticence. "Please." He said softly.

Sam thought for a moment. He knew Gabriel wouldn't actually want to talk about what happened in the morning and that he'd likely have to pester him into the conversation, but he didn't think that pressing the issue tonight would get him any answers. "Alright, we can do this tomorrow."

He would have continued, but he broke into a wide yawn. Gabe chuckled and rubbed his hands down Sam's arms soothingly. "I think it's a sign, my moose needs to get some rest." He tugged at Sam's hands, pulling him towards the bed.

Sam's face twisted, reminding Gabe of one of Dean's comments from TV Land. Sam was making one of his "bitch-faces". "Don't call me a moose." He said pouting a little.

"But Samsquatch," Gabe said, sitting Sam down on the bed and cupping his face with a hand. "You're a beautiful moose, a pretty moose, a cute moose. You make all the boy moose go HWAH." He said with a perfectly straight face. Sam's reaction was worth whatever payback he'd get later.

Sam's face contorted moving from _what the fuck_ to _was that a compliment_ which quickly progressed to _what is_ _wrong with you_ and quickly settled on _shit, you're crazy and that definitely wasn't complimentary enough to be a compliment so you must be making fun of me you little bitch. _ Sam huffed and finished getting into bed, pulling the covers up and pointedly closing his eyes.

Gabe chose that moment to lie down next to Sam and cuddle into his side, resting his head on his shoulder. Sam cracked one of his eyes and looked down at Gabriel. "Don't try anything funny. I have standards you know."

Gabriel laughed quietly, a smile splitting across his face and his eyes crinkled at the corners. "Don't worry, your virtue is safe with me."

Sam closed his eye and relaxed back into the pillow. "Somehow I doubt that."

Gabriel watched as Sam drifted off to sleep feeling his hunter's breathing even out. With a smile on his lips Gabe closed his eyes and drifted off as well, one arm draped over Sam's chest, soothed by the warmth he had craved for longer than he's ever realized.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you everyone for putting up with the wait, and hopefully the chapter makes up for it (it rolled in at over 6500 words). Unfortunately finals week is nigh, so I won't be updating this coming Sunday, but you'll get another chapter on the 19****th**** of May. Thank you all for your support and words of encouragement, I really can't begin to explain how much it means to me. Have a wonderful two weeks readers, you all deserve it.**

Ch. 7

Dean liked to think that he was a rather open-minded guy and by most standards he was; he believed that love was love and as long as you were happy gender didn't really matter. Also he'd be a hypocrite if thought anything else. Dean found that, over the years, he sometimes found the male form to be somewhat… attractive, and when the opportunity had arisen he hadn't turned down the experience. Damn had it been an experience. Its one thing to hold these ideals for the general population, and on occasion yourself, but it's an entirely different can of worms when it's your little brother. Or more it's not that your little brother's with a man, but that he's with an angel. An archangel. An archangel who recently threw said brother into a wall so hard that he'd required medical attention.

All he'd wanted to do was check to see that Sam was still okay before heading to bed. He just hadn't expected there to be anyone other than Sam in Sam's bed. Dean handled the situation rather well. Or rather he handled it the way he handled any non-life-threatening event after being awake for eighteen hours and woken prematurely from a rather nice dream.

He ignored it.

Quietly closing Sammy's door Dean padded softly back to his room. I'm too tired for this shit, he thought before crawling back into bed. He'd talk to Sam in the morning after he'd slept. And had his coffee.

Unfortunately Dean's sleep wasn't destined to be as restful as the one he'd been woken from, though he fell asleep with a small smile on his lips. His dreams were chaotic, filled with emptiness, crashing music and flashes of blue and black just out of his reach.

Sam awoke feeling oddly light. His mattress seemed softer, his blankets thicker, and he didn't want to open his eyes yet; sleep was still looking very appealing. He moved to get up, but an unfamiliar weight was pinning him down. Panic bubbled up within him, and Sam moved to throw off his attacker, but as an arm tightened around his waist he remembered that he hadn't gone to bed alone.

Cracking open his eyes Sam looked down to see Gabriel's head on his chest. A small smile spread across his lips; Gabe looked so small when he slept. Sam slowly sat up earning him a muffled groan from Gabriel who tried to keep his head on Sam's chest despite the change in angle.

Gabe's head fell into Sam's lap and he glared sleepily up at his moose. "I was sleeping." Sam chuckled and Gabriel just scowled up at him. Gabe's grace was humming happily, and he finally listened to what it had to say. His expression softened and once again he was struck by how bright Sam was. His hunter was so bright, despite everything that had happened to him, and when Gabriel looked in at himself he saw the dark thorns wrapped tightly around him. How could he belong to that kind of light?

Sam watched as Gabriel lost himself in thought. I suppose now is the time to ask, he thought. "Gabe." His tone was serious, and the angel sat up sensing the change in mood.

"Yeah?"

"We need to talk about last night."

"I suppose we do."

Silence fell between the pair and Sam realized that Gabe wasn't going to do this the easy way. "Let's start at the beginning." He pressed. "Why were you so… upset yesterday?"

Gabriel stared pointedly at the far wall when he answered. "You can say I was being an ass. I was, and I expect you to call me on my shit. I don't like hurting you." He huffed out a laugh heavy with self-loathing. "Despite the impression I gave yesterday." He paused and Sam was worried he'd have to ask the question again when Gabe finally answered. "I was feeling pressured."

"Why did you feel pressured?" Sam asked when it became apparent that was all the archangel was planning on saying.

Gabriel looked at Sam, his expression slightly pained, "Do I have to answer that?"

"Yes." Sam said matter-of-factly. "And you'll have to answer the rest of the questions too."

"What other questions?" Gabe stood looking worried. He had hoped that Sam would just accept whatever he'd said, although now he thought about it he wasn't sure why he'd ever thought that would work. "What else do you need to know?"

"Well, I'd like to know where this is going? How long are you staying? What are we gonna do about the Apocalypse? Though I suppose that last one can wait until tomorrow."

"That's a lot… a lot of questions." Gabe ran a hand through his hair and began pacing. "Umm, shit." He paused to look up at Sam, "What was it you asked?"

Sam counted backwards from ten in his head. "What made you feel pressured yesterday?"

"Shit, well… I guess it was a lot of stuff," Gabe paused but Sam gave him a pointed look. "Uh, you see… it all kind of started after I saw you the second time, and… and I, uh, you know. Well I'm- I don't normally do that. Cry all over people." Gabriel was obviously nervous, talking faster and faster. "I, well I didn't really – um, I didn't know why I did that, and when I figured out why I didn't really like the answer. And –"he paused his pacing and talking. "You know I'm emotionally stunted right?" He shook his head a little; the pacing started up again, this time with a tootsie roll to fiddle with. "Never mind, that was off-topic. So I- well I didn't react well and my grace didn't really like that I was ignoring what it was saying. That doesn't have to make sense right now I can explain later. And I mean who wouldn't react well, forever is well – forever. I wanted to see you but I didn't as well, and I knew why but I didn't want to know why, so I got myself worked up then came here to… to… I don't know, put you in your place? Put things back to normal I guess. Not that I really liked normal, but I wasn't really in a good place. My grace was getting really demanding which only made me angrier, and when I got here I couldn't say the things I wanted to, and I got so frustrated, then you were so… just so… kind. I wasn't prepared for that, and I didn't like that I was unprepared. I was distracted too, which is why you got hurt." Gabe paused at that; he looked directly at Sam and said softly, "I only wanted space. I never meant to hurt you." After a moment he started talking again, this time at a slightly slower pace. "I want this to go somewhere. I want a relationship. And I don't plan on going anywhere soon unless absolutely necessary." Gabriel stopped and smiled a small smile at Sam. "And we can handle the Apocalypse tomorrow."

Sam was stunned to say the least. After a minute of processing the spew of words that had come out of Gabriel's mouth, he could only think of one response. "What was that about forever?"

Gabe frowned, "I didn't say anything about forever."

"Yes, you did." Sam said, aware that the angel was still skittish. "You said 'who wouldn't react well forever is forever.' I take it the second forever meant a long time."

"I wasn't supposed to have said that." Gabe replied quickly.

"Well you did, so don't think you're getting out of explaining it."

Gabe looked about nervously, before sitting down next to Sam. "There are a few things you don't know about angels. You know the idea of soul mates?" He waited for Sam to nod before continuing. "Angels do something similar, only obviously we don't have souls we have our grace. I suppose you could think of it as… well, we refer to it as mating, and angels mate for life. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen." Gabriel looked up at Sam and his voice was serious; he'd been hoping to delay this conversation but no such luck. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to, and you're free to go whenever you want. I don't want to pressure you. You're my mate Sam."

_Mate_. He said the word so reverently, like he could break it if he tried. The concept sunk in slowly, and Sam was struck by the sense of security it left him with. In the past he had considered a relationship with Gabriel, but he hadn't wanted to take the risk that all he'd be left with was a broken heart. If he was being realistic that was how he felt about all his relationships, scared that in the end he would be alone. He hadn't wanted to risk losing Gabe like he'd lost everyone else.

"Okay."

Gabriel looked stunned, "I just ranted about my existential crisis then told you that I'm permanently bonded to you and your response is 'okay'?"

Sam shrugged a little and wrapped an arm around Gabe's waist. "It's not that bad a deal you know."

"I threw you into a wall less than ten hours ago."

"I'm trusting that you never repeat that." Sam said with surety. "And if you do, I will leave you." Sam felt Gabriel stiffen next to him.

"I don't like the idea of you leaving." He spoke quietly.

"Good, cause I don't like the idea of you leaving either."

Gabe rested his head on Sam's shoulder suddenly tired. "What now?" he asked.

"Dunno, we could talk." Sam's stomach rumbled, "Or we could eat something." He said with a smile. "Do you wanna come downstairs? I could make eggs or something."

"That sounds nice… Does Bobby like dogs?" Gabriel asked suddenly.

"He likes some dogs; I mean he had a Rottweiler for a while. Why?"

"I have someone I want you to meet." Gabe smiled up at Sam. "I think you'll like her. I have to go out though. I'll be back in a couple of hours, I promise."

Sam was hesitant, but he knew he didn't need to be attached to Gabriel 24/7. "Okay, I'll probably be downstairs when you get back."

Sam rose to leave, but he didn't get very far. Gabe appeared in front of him, smirk firmly in place. "Don't think I'm letting you off that easy kiddo."

Wide hands gripped Sam's shoulders and pulled him down until he was nose to nose with his angel. Gabriel leaned in and molded his mouth to Sam's, trying to pour his happiness into the kiss. He pulled back before it could get too heated, giving Sam a final peck before disappearing.

"Tease." Sam chuckled before pulling on a t-shirt and heading downstairs.

Dean was seated at Bobby's small kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee, black, and a monster of a headache.

Bobby had been down earlier, but after spending about ten minutes in Dean's presence announced that he was going out, though he wouldn't say where to, and that when he got back he expected the coffee pot washed and Dean to have stopped acting like a teething baby. Dean had muttered some choice words back, and he heard Bobby's muffled "Idjit" as he shut the door.

Staring at the black tar that passed for coffee, Dean contemplated his upcoming talk with Sam. He was sure it was just a misunderstanding; Sam hadn't known that Gabriel was there and would likely feel affronted that he'd been "taken advantage of" like the girl he was. But Dean wasn't sure, not really, his mind kept swirling around what Gabriel had said the night before, and how Sam had seemed to be looking a lot healthier recently but he couldn't tell why.

It was then that Sam ambled into the kitchen, looking remarkably well rested and healthy for someone who had recently, to Dean's best knowledge, gone through severe trauma.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked looking up from his coffee.

"Pretty good." Sam replied filling up his own mug, adding a good dose of milk and sugar to the brew. A silence fell over the pair as they both sat, slowly drinking their coffee.

"You got anything you wanna tell me Sammy?"

Sam paused, mug halfway to his lips before quickly responding "Not really." He took a deep swallow and waited, hoping Dean would let it go.

"I came in to check on you last night." Dean said, his irritation beginning to grow. Why couldn't Sam just tell him the truth for once?

"That was nice of you." Sam said quietly, he knew he was pushing it.

"Really, was it?" Dean's voice was sarcastic and biting. Before Sam could reply he went on. "It was nice of me to check on you after what, exactly? What the fuck happened last night Sam? Cause according to Mr. Anger Management you invited him over. What the hell's that about?" Dean's voice was rising, and underneath the anger Sam could hear the panic. "I come up to find you on the floor and some angel has to fucking heal you to get you fixed, what am I gonna think? I was so scared that you were hurt, and then I come back to find him sleeping with you! You got some explanation for me Sam, cause I'm having trouble seeing how any of this makes sense."

He felt horrible, this always happened. Things got difficult and he just wanted Dean to not feel responsible for once, but it never worked out the way he planned. Sam stared at his coffee and hoped it would give him the right answers.

It didn't.

"Well," he began, "I guess, I'll start at the beginning."

And he did.

He told Dean everything. Well almost everything, because there are some things you just don't tell your brother about your love life. He started with Lucifer's first visit and how he was showing up with alarming frequency, hence the unhealthy pallor, then he glossed over the fact that he'd always kind of liked the Trickster in "that way". He quickly moved on to the "I really just understood what he was going through as Gabriel what with the whole family issues thing", and briefly mentioned that they'd met more than once before the whole wall incident, and that Gabe had kindly put a barrier up in his mind to keep Lucifer out.

"So getting tossed into a wall wasn't really the norm at the time." He let out a deep breath and looked up at Dean. What he saw surprised him.

Dean loved his brother, he really did. He hated when he got hurt, but what he hated more was when he tried to pretend he wasn't hurt. That wasn't how he wanted it to work anymore. He'd had enough of that with Dad.

He pulled a rather startled Sam into a tight hug. Sam cautiously returned the gesture, not entirely sure what brought on the sudden display of affection. The pair separated and Sam asked warily, "What was that for?"

"That was for finally telling me some truth; I can tell when you're lying, I just don't push you on it." Dean then punched Sam in the nose.

"What the fuck was that for?" Sam yelled, clutching his likely broken nose.

"That was for lying to me and putting yourself in a risky situation cause you didn't want to offend my 'sensibilities'" He said, calmly shaking his hand. "Bitch."

Sam shook his head a little, still tentatively checking his tender nose. "You are crazy you know that?" After a moment he added, "Jerk."

"So I've been told." He said with a crooked smile, his headache almost forgotten. "So you gonna tell me what's up with you and Gabriel, or am I just gonna have to politely ignore this until I have to punch you again?" Dean asked his tone serious under the joke.

"I don't know if you're gonna like the answer Dean." Sam said quietly.

"Look Sammy, if it's about the fact that he's a guy? I don't care. You're my little brother; nothing will change that. I will never stop loving you. I should have told you that a long time ago; it might have saved us a lot of trouble, not that we can change that now. And sure, I can't say I'm thrilled that the dude is an angel, and a major douchenozzle at that, but ultimately it's up to you. And if he hurts you, I will fry him faster than steak in summer."

"Thanks." Sam said, taking a calming breath before going on, "There's, uh… there's a bit more to it than that, but I want to wait till Gabe gets back until we talk about it. Kay?" he hoped Dean would take the olive branch. Sam wanted Gabe there to answer questions when he told Dean about the whole mate thing.

Dean smiled. It was a stiff smile, one that held back tears and frustration, after everything Sam still didn't totally trust him. That hurt. "Sure thing, Sammy. Later, we'll talk later." He got up stiffly, dropped his cold coffee into the sink and headed for the door. "I'm gonna go work on Baby."

He was very calm about all of it. Dean hopped into his car, driving her over to the far garage well out of hearing range from the house. He slowly walked around her, contemplating the scarcity of each part. He settled on the trunk and side mirrors. Easily fixable. Easily replaceable. He carefully removed everything from the trunk and picked up the tire iron. Side mirrors first, he thought, just to start.

The sound of shattered glass filled the empty space, quickly followed by the crunch of metal on metal and the crash of metal on concrete as the first mirror fell to the ground. With each strike came a question that could never be answered by the bang of steel striking steel.

_What did I do wrong?_

_Why doesn't he trust me?_

_Why did he not come to me?_

_Why can't I ever be what he needs?_

_Why can't I carry him like I should?_

_Why can't I protect him? _

_Why am I not good enough?_

_I was never good enough._

At some point he'd begun to cry.

The rear of the Impala was thoroughly mangled, Dean knew that he'd have to fix it before Sam saw, but he couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.

"Why?" he yelled at the empty air. "Why am I never strong enough? What about me makes it that everything I care about gets broke, huh? Well?" there was no response, not that he had expected one. "Why bring me back, if I'm just a broken shell of who I used to be, I'm no use to anyone like this! So why? You petty, feather brained cowards, why! Why don't you just send me back?"

"Because that would be counter-intuitive Dean." A gravelly voice replied.

Dean turned and standing far too close to him was Castiel. "Shit Cas! Where'd you come from?"

"Spanish Fork."

"What?"

"I came from the city of Spanish Fork. Utah." He said as if it was the most obvious thing.

"Oh… well, okay. There a reason you came by?"

"You called."

"No, I didn't Cas. I'm pretty sure I would know if I did." Dean said, beginning to question the angel's sanity. Not that he was ever all there to start with.

"You did so subconsciously. You wished for someone to answer your questions, and you asked me." Castiel paused, tilting his head and considering his words carefully. "I feel I am not qualified to answer some of your questions for they are obviously directed at your brother. It would be best if you asked him for those answers, but I believe I can answer the others."

"What?" Dean asked, shaking his head he continued. "Look Cas, I didn't call you. Not in any way." He swiped at the leftover tears on his cheeks, suddenly self-conscious. "I'm fine. You can go now."

Cas tilted his head, a small frown forming on his brow. "But you are obviously upset Dean. Tears are a typically a sign of sadness, correct?"

A small smile flickered across Dean's face. "Yeah Cas, they are."

"What has made you so unhappy Dean," his eyes glanced briefly at the broken Impala, "that you would badly damage your most prized possession and bring you to tears?"

"Nothing you can help me with."

Castiel took a step toward Dean who moved back trying to make space between them. He felt the cool metal of his car on his back.

"I don't believe that is so Dean." The angel's gravelly voice was sure, and Dean felt the urge to believe him. "You asked me for answers. You are strong Dean. Stronger than many angels I know, likely you are stronger than me. You are protecting your brother. You fight beside him, risk your life to keep him safe. You put yourself in more danger than you should in order to care for your brother." Dean's face felt wet, and when Cas rested a hand on either side of his face he realized it was from tears. "You are not a shell of who you used to be. I can feel your soul, Dean." Too blue eyes bored into his and Dean felt his heart beat faster. "I can feel it, Dean. Do you understand that?" He gave a small nod. "Your soul is beautiful. It is bright, so bright, for all you suffered it is not riddled with darkness. When I raised you from Perdition, Dean, even then your soul burned bright. It was how I found you. You were a beacon of light in the darkness. You still are."

Dean crumpled to his knees, tire iron falling uselessly to the floor. Sobs wracked his body. Castiel knelt beside him, taking his hand and quietly healing the bloody scrapes that had formed there.

"I am sorry Dean. I did not mean to increase your unhappiness. I will go."

"No!" Dean croaked out. Please don't leave, he thought.

Castiel tilted his head, "But you are crying Dean. Obviously I worsened the situation."

"No, Cas. You didn't." Taking a steadying breath he continued, "Sometimes humans… well, sometimes we cry when our emotions are too… too strong."

"Oh." Castiel nodded, contemplating the idea. He knelt down next to Dean again. "I am glad I did not cause you grief Dean." He paused, looking hesitant, before wrapping an arm around the hunter's shoulder and pulling him into his side. Dean stiffened next to him but after a moment relaxed. "I understand it is a human custom to give each other "hugs" in times of extreme emotion."

Dean huffed out a laugh. "Yeah Cas, it is." He turned his head into the angel's shoulder, finding the warmth oddly inviting. Closing his eyes Dean took some comfort in Castiel's nearness; breathing deeply he found the angel's scent… nice. Cool but strong, like the smell of air during a thunderstorm just after lightning strikes.

"Cas."

"Yes Dean?"

"You can let go now."

"Oh." The angel's grip loosened and he stood fluidly, so obviously inhuman in the movement that Dean wondered how he could ever forget that Castiel was so much more than him.

"You can stay." Dean said, pushing himself up. "If you want." He added quickly. "You could, I dunno, keep me company while I fix up Baby. If you want."

A small frown creased Castiel's brow. "I am afraid I would be poor company. I am not able to fix automobiles."

A deep chuckle broke out of Dean. "That's okay Cas, you don't have to fix cars to stay. Just humor me, 'kay."

"I'm afraid I do not know any human jokes, and I believe you would not find the other jokes I know entertaining."

Laughter filled the garage, echoing off the high walls, "Cas, man, it's alright. I don't mean make me laugh; just sit down somewhere and let me fix my car. It's nice to just have someone around you know?"

Cas moved to lean on a nearby worktable before responding slowly. "Yes. I believe I understand."

Silence fell between the pair as Dean moved about, putting the Impala back together. He moved with a speed and efficiency that Castiel had learned to recognize. Dean moved like a soldier. It seeped into every aspect of him, from the way he walked to the way he washed his car, as sense of surety permeating every movement. Castiel felt a twinge of sadness, though he wasn't sure why, perhaps because they were traits he wished he could see in himself. Hours passed in relative silence before Dean wiped his hands on a rag, finally finished. He'd realized as he was working that he ought to tell Cas about Gabriel and Sammy, not that he knew that much, but he felt Cas had a right to know he would have family around whether wanted or not.

Dean cleared his throat loudly, setting the rag down. "Cas, I gotta tell you something. Something you may not like hearing." The angel merely tilted his head; he took it as a sign to continue. "Gabriel's back."

"Alright."

Dean waited for the yelling. He waited for accusations and maybe even tears. Cas just looked at him. "That's it. Alright?"

"What else would you like me to say Dean? He chose to leave Heaven."

Dean just looked at Cas, how gullible did he think he was? "Is that really the line of bullshit you wanna stick with?"

"It is not 'bullshit' Dean." Castiel said, air quoting bullshit. "I do not care that Gabriel has returned. He has made his opinions on the Apocalypse abundantly clear."

"Yeah, I don't think he's sticking with his plan."

"What?"

Well that got him interested, Dean thought. "He and… Sam… he – they… You know what I'm not even sure. I think you're gonna have to talk to him."

"No."

"I don't think you've really got a choice Cas."

"I was under the impression we were fighting for the right to choose." Castiel clipped out.

Dean could see the tension settled over the angel's shoulders. Cas was hiding something. "Yeah the right to think as we please, sometimes you don't have a choice in who you get to talk to."

"I will not see him Dean."

"You going to tell me why? Or are you just gonna keep whatever secrets you got bundled up inside you?" Dean moved in front of Cas, meeting his eyes and refusing to drop his gaze. "Whatever you're hiding from, man, it'll eat you up inside. I should know." Holding their gaze Dean silently begged Cas to just let it out.

Castiel looked away first. "I do not wish to discuss it. It is in the past."

Dean scoffed, he wasn't blind. "Not anymore if I read your face correctly yesterday. You and Gabriel's past looks like it's become very present to me."

Castiel scowled at the hunter. "Dean I do not wish to discuss this. If you insist I talk to my brother I shall. Are you happy?"

Dean looked the angel over, taking in his now black mood. "Not yet, but I'm sure we'll have that discussion some time."

The angel turned his back on Dean and strode towards the door. "Let's go see Gabriel."

Dean checked the clock, it was almost two now, before jogging quickly after Cas trying to think up an excuse for Sammy. He'd been out almost four hours. It was strange how he never really noticed the time when Cas was around.

After Dean left, Sam puttered around the kitchen doing dishes and straightening up as much as he could; if he moved things too much Bobby got grouchy. Finally he settled down on the couch with a copy of H.G. Wells _The Invisible Man_ and waited for Gabe to get back. He'd just set the novel on the coffee table, planning to get a snack, when he found himself faced with a very wet nose. Sam had to look around the solid mass of Jack Russell in order to see Gabriel. He was about to move over, when said terrier licked him. Right across the face.

At that point both men dissolved into laughter and the dog was set on the ground. Gabe moved to straddle Sam's lap before pushing the taller man back and giving him a peck on the lips. "Hey there kiddo." He said, wiping at Sam's face.

"Hi Gabriel." Sam replied before pulling him back down. He fell into the kiss and found himself loath to pull away. The feel of Gabriel's lips against his was addicting, and he felt like they had been apart far too long despite the fact that it had only been a few hours. Sam tilted his head, working to get a better angle and explore the angel's mouth more deeply, enjoying the weight of Gabriel on top of him. He twisted a hand into the angel's hair, reveling in the soft strands between his fingers; he tugged at Gabe's scalp eliciting a soft moan.

It was Gabriel who pulled away first, a groan wrenching its way out of him. "Sammy, we gotta stop unless you wanna take this off Bobby's couch. I don't want him to shoot me."

"Huh?" Sam's brain was still fuzzy with endorphins.

Gabe just chuckled. Crawling off of Sam, he extended a hand out and helped pull his moose up from the too small sofa. "How about I make you lunch kiddo." He turned towards the kitchen and proceeded to trip over the dog seated next to the sofa.

Sam started to laugh, but it died quickly as the terrier stared up at him accusingly. "Um… hi." He said, reaching down to let the animal smell him. It looked him up and down, Sam could practically feel the judgment pour over him, then finally deigned to sniff his hand. Apparently he passed the test as the dog's tail began to wag and it nudged its nose against the palm of his hand.

"I think you passed." Gabriel smiled, "Her name's Hannah, by the way." He reached down and scratched her ears until she began to thump her tail loudly against the floor. "I'm glad you two get along. If you didn't we'd have a problem."

Sam arched a brow at the archangel, "What, you wouldn't pick me over Hannah?"

"I don't know Samsquatch- " He said taking Sam's hand and leading him towards the kitchen now that introductions were over. "She does tricks. Can you do tricks?"

Sam smiled and pushed Gabriel against the island, "I'm sure you could teach me a few." He leaned in closer, putting his mouth against the shell of the shorter man's ear, whispering. "I'm a quick learner."

Gabriel turned his head to look at Sam, seeing the sparkle of mirth in the hunter's eyes, and started pressing kisses against his jaw. "Mmm, really?" he hummed against Sam's skin between kisses.

Sam's head tilted, exposing his neck "Yeah." He breathed before a soft moan escaped him, the feeling of Gabriel's lips on his skin making his heart speed up and a flush spread over him. The angel nipped at the juncture of his neck and shoulder then began alternately kissing and biting Sam's neck, working to create a very prominent hickey.

Just as another moan poured from Sam, Bobby walked into the kitchen. "Get the hell off my kitchen counter! What are you, a pair of horny teenagers? I cook in here ya know!" The pair jumped apart like they were on fire. As Sam looked sheepishly at the linoleum Bobby continued. "Care to tell me what's going on here boy?" The older man's tone was sharp.

"Bobby, I'm sorry. I… I don't know how to explain –"

Sam started apologizing, but Gabriel took his hand and moved slightly in front of him, "You have nothing to apologize for." The angel turned to face the old hunter, "Whether you like it or not Bobby, I love Sam. I'm not gonna leave him so you can leave your homophobia at the door or fuck off."

Bobby looked between Sam and the archangel before pinning Gabriel with a cringe worthy glare. "What are you, stupid?" Looking up at his little boy, "Sam, I could not care less who you sleep with." He paused, suddenly remembering Ruby, "I couldn't care less the gender of who you sleep with." The older man would have said more, but the thump, thump of a tail on his leg distracted him. "Who's this?" He reached down to scratch the dog's ears; after a moment she rolled over and wiggled on her back demanding a belly rub. Bobby grumbled as he crouched down next to the terrier, "I'm getting too old for this." That didn't prevent him from thoroughly rubbing the dog's stomach.

Gabriel backed down, leaning back on Sam. "That's Hannah." Looking up at his moose he pouted, "Sammich, I feel neglected. She doesn't love me anymore."

Sam chuckled and rested his head on Gabriel's, running a hand down his angel's arm. "I think you'll survive."

"You eaten?" Bobby asked, slowly straightening up.

Sam smiled sheepishly, "We were about to get something."

"I'm sure you were." He turned towards the stove and started gathering ingredients, "How 'bout some grilled cheese."

"Sounds good to me." Sam held Gabriel tighter for a moment, if Bobby was making grilled cheese then it would be okay. He wasn't angry. He didn't think less of him because he was with a man, because he was with Gabriel.

"So where'd you pick up this pretty lady?" Bobby asked as he put together the sandwiches.

"Well, it's a bit of a long story…" Gabe began.

The three talked amiably trading stories as they ate. It turned out Gabriel had acquired Hannah in Rome and never given her up. Occasionally Bobby slid in a question about the angel's future plans but for the most part he didn't push it. He knew that he'd get his answers soon, and he was far more preoccupied judging whether Sam was actually happy with the annoying archangel or if he'd been mojo'd. The hours slid by as the Bobby and Sam caught up, the old hunter always wished he got to spend a little more time with his boys. The easy banter ceased when Dean walked in, a recalcitrant Castiel in tow.

"Hey there Sammy." Dean tried to sound cheerful, but his words fell flat and sat heavy on the now tension thick air. There was a noticeable silence before he continued. "Gabriel."

Sam glanced at the archangel, expecting a snarky reply, however he quickly realized Gabe hadn't heard Dean at all. Gabriel was staring at Castiel like he was trying to permanently etch his brother into his mind.

A puzzled look crossed Gabriel's face for a moment before quickly fading into a small, sad smile. "Hey, little bro."

"Hello Gabriel." Castiel said in his usual monotone, though only Dean heard the angel's breath catch on the hard 'B' of brother.

It was Sam's turn to break the uncomfortable silence. He stood up trying to ease his nerves. "I guess I owe you an explanation Dean." Looking over to Gabriel for support, he took a deep breath and went on. "So I guess you all know that Gabriel and I are together. No, I'm not crazy and I'm not being controlled against my will. I want to make it clear that what… what happened last night was not the norm. Gabe's gonna be around for the long haul, because we're – " Sam paused unsure how to go on.

Gabe stood, placing himself in-front of Sam again, which Bobby didn't fail to notice. "Sam and I share a permanent grace-soul bond. It's physically painful for me to hurt him and, Dean," Gabriel fixed his gaze on Dean willing him to understand the truth in his words, "last night almost broke me. It will never happen again." Sam wrapped an arm around Gabe's waist, anchoring himself in case his family's response was less than kind.

Everyone was quiet as they took in the new information. Castiel tilted his head scrutinizing Gabriel. "Your grace is… different." His brow furrowed. "You are mates."

"Yeah bro, hence the whole grace-soul bond thing." Sam was happy to see that Gabriel's smile had returned slightly.

"I was not aware we could mate with humans." Castiel continued slowly.

"Neither did I Cassie, that's why it took me so long to realize what it was." He looked up at Sam, silent words of apology in his eyes. Gabriel turned back to his brother scrutinizing him, his frown returned. "We need to talk Castiel."

"I don't think demanding to talk to him is the best way to start rebuilding your relationship." Sam whispered.

"It's okay kiddo, he agrees with me. Right little bro?" There was an edge of authority to Gabriel's voice that brooked no argument.

Naturally Dean bristled at the assumption and started moving into the archangel's space. "Just because Sam likes you doesn't mean you can start dictating –"

"Dean." Castiel cut in, effectively stopping the hunter mid-rant. "You should all go. This is a private matter."

"Are you listening to yourself Cas?" Dean turned to the other angel, "This douchenozzle is back for a few minutes, and you're just gonna bend over for him –"

"Dean." Castiel's voice was raised, and the hunter stopped mid-sentence seeming to remember that he was talking to an angel who could easily snap him in two. "Go outside, Dean." Cas paused, slowly laying a hand on Dean's arm as if he wasn't it was appropriate. "Please."

For a second Sam didn't think his brother would leave, but after a tense moment Dean turned on his heel and stalked out of the house, the back door slamming behind him. Bobby rolled his eyes and headed upstairs, muttering about idjit kids in his house. Hannah promptly trotted after the old hunter, apparently tired of the lack of attention from her master.

Sam huffed out a sigh, "I'll go talk to Dean." He said quietly, tightening his grip around Gabriel's waist for a moment before following after his brother.

Gabe's eyes followed Sam as he left before turning back to Castiel. "So, are we gonna do this the easy way or the hard way?"

Castiel stared pointedly over Gabriel's shoulder. "I take it you wish to discuss my grace, or lack thereof." He took a steadying breath, "I do not believe Raphael agrees with the decisions I have made."

"And those choices would be – what, exactly?" Gabe was fishing for information, but he was almost positive Cas wouldn't notice.

Castiel pinned his gaze on the other angel, shock and perhaps a little disgust in his eyes. "What choices? Do I have to spell it out for you? I turned my back on the garrison! I walked away from my family, because I believed that perhaps some of these humans we were so willing to accept as collateral damage deserve more than that. I am an outcast, because I questioned the status quo and disobeyed orders for a few humans who may not even be able to stop the Apocalypse anyway. Those choices! We don't all choose to exile ourselves."

Those last words stung, but did not sway Gabriel's resolve. "Raphael does not have the right to cut you off from your grace. That is a decision that comes from Dad, and he hasn't been talking to anyone lately." Gabriel's voice was quiet, but Cas heard the rage behind it. "Sit down, Castiel."

The young angel hesitated before slowly taking a seat at the table. "I take it this will hurt."

Even though Gabe knew the question was rhetorical he felt compelled to answer. "Yes, it'll hurt."

"Do I have a choice?" Castiel asked, perhaps more viciously than necessary. A flash of pain crossed Gabriel's face, and Cas found himself feeling guilty.

"You always have a choice Castiel." For a moment Gabe thought Cas would say no and keep him from fixing a problem that never would have occurred had Gabriel not run away.

"Alright. Let's start"

Gabe lay his hands on either side his brother's face, "I'm so sorry Castiel," apologizing for so much more than the imminent pain. A small smile crossed Cas' face, and it ripped Gabriel's heart to pieces.

Castiel's scream ripped through the kitchen, and for the first time in millennia Gabriel wished he was dead.


	8. Chapter 8

Ch. 8

Dean searched through his pockets, the sound of Sam slamming the back door not deterring him. Pulling out a battered pack of smokes and a zippo, he fumbled out a cigarette. Dean held the cigarette to his lips, sparking the lighter trying to get a flame. Suddenly Sam was in his space, knocking the cigarette out his hand and reaching for the lighter. "Dude what the hell!" Dean shouted, reaching for another cigarette.

"What the h-? Dean!" Sam yelled as Dean managed to light up another cigarette, taking a deep drag. "When did this start?" he asked watching his brother take another pull.

Dean breathed out, relishing the burn in his lungs. "I dunno, a few months ago I think. After you left – yeah, I think I started up again after you went off with Ruby."

Sam's brow furrowed as he looked at Dean, "What do you mean again? You don't smoke Dean."

Dean leaned back against the railing, taking another drag. He let the hand holding his cigarette rest against the siding, while tucking his other hand into his pocket so Sam wouldn't see it shaking. "There are a lotta things you don't know about me Sam."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" Sam was fuming, "I thought we'd agreed that there'd be no more secrets Dean, total transparency just like you wanted."

"That's rich coming from you, Sam! You were sneaking around with Gabriel for what, a week or so, before you said anything? Would you have even told me about you two if I hadn't walked in on you?

"Dean," Sam tried to cut in, "you're overreacting – "

"Like hell am I overreacting! Despite what you may think I'm not stupid! It's obvious you don't trust me, which I find rather ironic seeing as I'm not the one who walked off with a demon a few months ago." Sam took a step back at that, hurt coloring his features. Dean was so worked up it barely registered on his radar, though in the back of his mind he knew he'd regret his comment later.

"Leaving was a mistake," Sam said quietly. "And I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to earn back you trust, but Dean… you've gotta realize that I do trust you, more than anyone else on this earth." Running a hand through his hair, Sam fixed his gaze on Dean. "You're my brother; I know you'll always have my back. Even if I don't deserve it."

Dean was a little stunned by Sam's blunt honesty. He stared at his brother for a moment, but was distracted when his cigarette finally burned down to his fingers. Cursing he tossed it out onto the gravel. For all Sam's words had reassured Dean, he felt compelled to ask one more question. "If you trust me so much Sammy, why didn't you tell me about this whole "bond" thing you've got with Blondie this morning?" Dean watched in confusion as Sam's expression moved from bewilderment to mirth.

"That's what this is about?" Sam could hardly keep from smiling, "That's it?" Confusion flickered through Sam's eyes, "I told you we'd talk about it later Dean. Why would that mean I didn't trust you?"

"Because this is us we're talking about Sam! When have we ever actually talked about something after we said we would, "talk about it later"? Never! That's our go-to line when we _don't _want to talk about things!" Dean's voice tapered off, before mumbling. "I was a reasonable assumption at the time."

Sam chuckled at that, finally feeling like perhaps things were looking up for them. He reached over to pat Dean's arm affectionately, look of mock concern plastered on his face. "It's alright Dean. It totally made sense." Dean pushed Sam's hand off his shoulder muttering about annoying kid brothers. They both laughed a little before Sam grew serious again. "The only reason I didn't tell you about Gabe and I's situation, is cause I didn't know yet. He hadn't fully explained what was going on with us yet."

Dean nodded slowly. "Well, if he's sticking around, I'll do my best not to throttle him. But I make no promises."

Sam smiled; Dean's attempt to be accepting warmed his heart. "Thanks Dean." He said, voice ringing with sincerity.

Dean pulled his brother into a firm hug, squeezing him tightly. They stood like that for a long moment as Dean tried to blink back tears. "You're my kid brother Sammy," he said quietly. "There ain't nothing in this world can change that."

Just as Dean pulled away, a smile on his lips, Castiel's scream ripped through the air. Glass shattered around them and Dean sprinted towards the kitchen.

The first thing Dean saw entering the kitchen was Cas kneeling on the floor, his head between Gabriel's hands. How many times was he going to see Gabriel standing over the broken bodies of the people he loved? Anger surged through him, and Dean was across the room in a moment. He pulled Gabriel away from Cas, grabbing fistfuls of the archangel's shirt and pushing him up against the wall. The dull thud of Cas' body hitting the floor made bile rise in the back of Dean's throat, and he fought the urge to drop Gabriel and check on his angel. Instead he pushed the archangel higher up the wall. "What did you do to him?" Dean ground out.

Gabriel raised his hands in a placating gesture. "Calm down Deano – "

Dean pushed the angel into the wall harder. "Don't you tell me to calm down, you backstabbing son of a bitch! What did you do to him!" he roared.

"It's not my story to tell Dean." Gabriel said calmly, seemingly unfazed by his current predicament.

"Like hell it's not!" Sparing a glance over his shoulder, Dean saw Sam kneeling next to an unconscious Cas. "How's he doin' Sammy?"

"I think he's coming around." Sam paused before continuing hesitantly. "Dean I think it's safe to put Gabe down, Castiel looks fine; I can't find any physical trauma."

"Until Cas wakes up, your boyfriend's staying right here. Oh, and Sam," Dean added, "What I said about not throttling him. I don't think I'm gonna be able to hold to that."

"What the hell do ya think yer doin' boy?" All eyes turned to the irate man in the doorway. "Put the damn angel down, you're not proving anything to anyone. No matter how pissed off you are he could still snap you in two; he's just choosing not to. Probably the only reason he hasn't broken yer arms yet I cause it's upset Sam. Go get sleeping beauty off the Dean. Gabriel's not going anywhere." Bobby snapped.

Hannah barked her agreement before nudging at Bobby's leg, seeking affection and thoroughly diminishing the seriousness of the moment.

Dean reluctantly released Gabriel before rushing over to Cas. He scanned the angel's body for damage, before scooping him up. Cradling Cas against his chest, Dean went to lay the angel on the sofa. Cas looked so small tucked onto the ratty couch. Dean sat on the coffee table, not able to face the mess he'd left in the kitchen. Leaning forward, he pushed some stray hair away from Cas' face before whispering, "I don't think I believe your answers Cas. God, this is a mess." Dean let his head fall into his hands, and he tried to figure out a way to apologize to Sam.

Once Dean left the kitchen Sam rushed over to Gabriel, ghosting his hands over the angel's body as if to ensure he was still unbroken, still there. Gabriel stopped Sam's hands with his own, pressing them to his lips, silently telling his hunter that he was alright. "It's okay kiddo." He murmured against their knuckles. "I'm okay."

Sam bent his head to rest against Gabe's, keeping their hands joined more firmly than was strictly necessary. "I'm so sorry." Sam whispered, his eyes clenched shut against his shame. He couldn't stop thinking that he should have done something to protect Gabriel.

"Sam, open your eyes." Gabe's tone projected authority, but there was an edge of fear that made Sam do as he was asked. "You have nothing to be sorry for." Gabriel said firmly. "I would never expect you to choose me over your brother, especially not this early in our relationship." He tilted his head up, placing a tender kiss on Sam's forehead.

The moment was broken by Bobby's gruff cough. "If we're all done here I think we have some things to discuss." He turned abruptly and strode into the living, clearly expecting the couple to follow.

Gabriel tugged at Sam's hand. "C'mon kiddo, I think I have some explaining to do."

Dean almost knocked the coffee table over when Cas started to wake. He leaned towards the angel as his eyes blinked open. "Hey there Cas." Dean said softly. He placed a hand firmly on the angel's shoulder when he tried to sit up. "Take it easy man, you've got nowhere you need to be."

Bobby entered the living room quickly followed by Sam and Gabriel; they were still holding hands and Dean felt a brief pang of embarrassment at his earlier actions.

"So," Bobby began, "what harebrained idea did you two, decide to break my house with this time?" He looked pointedly between the two angels.

"Gabriel restored my grace to me." Castiel sated in his usual monotone. The statement stunned everyone, and Cas used the momentary distraction to sit up.

"He did what?" Dean yelled, just as Gabriel said blandly, "Way to break to them slowly, Cassie."

"I… apologize… if that was blunt. I thought it best to just… come clean." Castiel spoke slowly, carefully choosing his words in an effort to prevent an argument.

"Why would you need Blondie over here to fix your grace, Cas? Cause as far as I knew your grace was just fine."

Cas stared at Dean's feet, unwilling to look at him. "Raphael… disapproved of my decision to help you and considered it fitting to strip me of my grace. I apologize for not telling you earlier Dean. I did not wish to become a burden."

"Dammit Cas," Dean ran a hand over his face; he knees knocked against Cas'. "You can't just keep shit like this from us."

"I am sorry – "

"It's not that Cas. You should know by now that you can trust us with this kind of stuff. You're not a burden. You're our friend, and we look out for our friends Cas."

Gabriel saw the crease in Castiel's brow and could see the argument forming in his head, so he literally stepped into the conversation. Sam was worn out; he didn't need another shouting match today. "Hey Deano," He tapped Dean's shoulder. "If I could just squeeze in here, I need to check that Cassie's grace is back to normal and I didn't accidently strip him of all his powers." Dean shot him a death glare, but Gabriel just shrugged it off. "What, I've never done this before." He pushed Dean to the other end of the table and placed two fingers on Castiel's forehead. A soft glow surrounded the pair, fading when Gabriel pulled away. "Looks like your grace is fully charged and ready to go, little bro."

"Thank you." Castiel said quietly before gently brushing his grace against Gabriel's. A huge smile erupted on the archangel's face, and Castiel couldn't help but feel like he'd finally done something right today.

Bobby cleared his throat. "Now that we've worked this out would someone mind fixing my damn windows."

"Done." Gabriel said with a snap of his fingers.

"Good."

Gabriel looked over to Sam. "I believe I owe you a date, kiddo."

"What?" Sam asked, confused by the sudden change in conversation.

"I was under the impression that humans usually date_ before_ the whole declaration of soul bonding, etcetera, etcetera; but I figure cause we're special we can do it backwards. Screw convention." Gabriel said with a waggle of his eyebrows. Walking over to Sam he continued, "Also I'd like to be far away from here when Deano starts his interrogation. So," he grabbed Sam's hand. "See ya later boys."

Bobby, Dean, and Castiel stared at the spot where the couple had been, the same stunned expression on their faces.

"I need a drink." Bobby grumbled, grabbing a bottle of whiskey off the side table before walking upstairs.

Dean and Cas sat in awkward silence, neither sure what to say. Cas spoke first "Dean I truly am sorry. I wi- "

"Let's go for a walk Cas." Dean stood abruptly, heading towards the front door.

"Um – " Cas scrambled to catch up. "Alright." Dean kept walking quickly away from, and Cas finally gave up. He flew directly in front of Dean who was all the way off the front porch at that point. "Dean, what did Gabriel mean when he said you would "interrogate" me?"

Dean tried to step around Cas, but the angel just moved to block his way. "Gabriel doesn't know what he's talking about. "Dean muttered. He pushed past the angel, heading out of the salvage yard.

Castiel appeared in front of Dean again. "Are you avoiding me Dean?"

"Ya know if I was, I'd be doing a really poor job of it." He started walking forward again, but instead of moving out of his way Cas just walked backwards in front of him.

"Yes I suppose you would be." Cas stopped walking suddenly, letting Dean run into him so he could grab onto the man's shoulders to prevent him from walking away again. His hand fell onto Dean's bicep, resting on top of the handprint it matched. Castiel's breath hitched and he felt his heart rate increase like it always seemed to when he got close to Dean. He still wasn't sure what it meant, perhaps he should consult Gabriel. It didn't feel bad, so it wasn't likely that his physical reaction to Dean's proximity would be detrimental to the health of his vessel. Castiel's voice was perhaps a little gruffer than usual when he spoke. "I should have told you about my grace; I made a mistake. I'm sorry Dean, truly I am."

Dean's eyes locked with Cas', and he couldn't look away. He knew that his – the angel was sincere; Cas wouldn't deliberately put them in danger. He just needed time to process, and with Cas so close – Dean shook his head, trying to dispel the image of Cas' lips on his. They were friends, just friends; he wouldn't use his friend like that. "Cas I – " Dean's voice broke. "Let's just take a walk, okay." He asked, his voice tinged with desperation. Cas was so close it was getting hard to focus.

Castiel released Dean's arms. "Alright. We'll walk." He hesitated before adding. "I dislike it when we argue Dean. It feels… wrong."

Dean tucked his hands into his pockets so he wouldn't be tempted to reach out for Cas, before replying. "Yeah, I don't like it either." He wanted to squeeze Cas' hand, to reassure him, but he couldn't bring himself to risk it.

Bobby watched the pair walk towards the woods outside the property. He chuckled to himself when Dean kicked Cas' butt then tried to play it off like nothing happened. For a minute he thought they were going to have a serious heart to heart in the front driveway. Taking a sip of his whiskey he reached for the phone, dialing, he waited for a familiar voice to answer.

"This is Ellen at The Roadhouse in Hartford, whatcha need?" crackled over the line, and Bobby couldn't stop a smile from spreading across his face.

"Hey Ellie."

"Well I'll be damned, talkin' to you twice in a day. Did you leave somethin' at my place this morning?"

"Nah, I was just – well I was wondering if you'd like to come by for dinner."

"Well I suppose I could drag myself away from work, though I might get there in the hour if there's a promise of pie."

"How's apple sound?" Bobby asked, chuckling.

"Perfect, just let me tell Jo I'm leaving. Not that I object to spending time with you sugar, but what's the occasion?"

"Today's been… eventful. I think I've had my house repaired more times today than in the last two years."

"Well I'll be over in an hour and you can tell me all about this crazy day of yours. Gonna give me a hint as to what I'm in for?"

"I was thinking lasagna with –"

"I meant with the boys Bobby, not dinner." She said, smiling through the receiver.

"Oh – well, lovestruck's a good word for it."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N I apologize for how long this has taken me to update, I was in kind of a funk and had difficulty getting myself to actually write down some of the scenes. Hopefully the next chapter will not take so long for me to get to you, and I cannot thank you enough for your continued support. Every time my email tells me I have a new follow or favorite or review it truly makes my day. Best wishes to you all for your summers and hopefully I'll get the next chapter done quickly. Enjoy **

Ch. 9

Gabe leaned into Sam, catching him as he stumbled on the concrete of the parking lot they'd landed in. He gave Sam's hand a quick squeeze before releasing it, trailing his fingers across the fine bones of the other man's wrist before tucking his hands into his coat pockets. Touching a real person was – nice. Gabriel hadn't been with anyone he hadn't created since Kali. She had never been big on cuddling, or on any kind of physical contact, really.

"Where are we?" Sam's voice pulled Gabe out of his thoughts.

"About an hour outside of Cincinnati. This is Celia's, the best diner in the Midwest."

Gabriel pushed his hands a little deeper into his pockets as a brisk wind picked up. Sam quickly followed suit before frowning. "I wasn't wearing –"

"I thought you might need it." Gabe cut in. "It gets cold early out here." He said nudging Sam with his shoulder, craving just a little more contact.

"Thanks." Sam said with a crooked smile.

Gabriel just huffed out a laugh, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Silence fell between the pair as they stood awkwardly in the parking lot, each waiting for the other to make a move. Gabe's brain decided to use the moment to short circuit, and just as Sam started saying, "I guess we should go inside." he blurted out, "You're eyes look beautiful."

Sam fell silent again, and Gabriel ran a hand through his hair tiredly, more than a little embarrassed by his outburst. "Sorry," he said weakly. "I'm kinda new at this and – you're eyes do look beautiful. They're all shot through with gold and green."

"Oh." Sam wasn't sure what to say to that. First date etiquette mandated that he respond with a compliment, but he wasn't sure if that still applied. He wasn't exactly experienced at first dates either, at Stanford there'd only been Jess. He started to say something superficial and nice, but all that came out was. "My eyes are gray. They don't turn those colors."

Gabriel laughed at the mortified look on Sam's face. "I beg to differ, kiddo." Reaching over, he tugged Sam's hand out of his pocket and pulled him toward the diner. "Let's head inside. We have a date to start." He said with a smile on his lips.

Sam just nodded his agreement and followed Gabe inside, his cheeks burning. God, what was he doing? You're boyfriend compliments you, and you tell him he's wrong? It's not like you've never received a compliment before. Not from someone like him, a small part his brain says, not from someone that meant as much to you as Jess. Maybe even more. Sam pushed the thought away, not entirely comfortable with the idea. A bell tinkled overhead as they entered, and Sam was struck by how warm the place was. Not physically warm, but it seemed – homey. Different from the diners he and Dean usually ended up in. A woman moves out from behind the counter across the room, drawing Sam's attention. She was petite, probably not more than 5'1'', with a halo of curly auburn hair framing a heart shaped face. She struck Sam as motherly, though she didn't look older than twenty seven, thirty tops. It was probably the huge smile that split her face when she saw them.

Sam stepped aside as the whirlwind of a woman rushed over to Gabe, pulling the angel into a tight hug. "Richard, long time no see! Where've you been hiding?" She asked excitedly, keeping Gabriel wrapped in her arms.

"No place in particular." Sam could see the woman's grip tighten. Gabe laughed a little, feigning discomfort. "Celia, you gotta let go. I can feel my ribs cracking."

"It's not my fault you don't visit" she said, pulling away before acknowledging Sam for the first time "And who's this, one of your FBI friends?" She nodded towards the overly tall man.

"You could say that." Gabe said with a sly smile, slipping his hand into Sam's larger one. "This is Sam. He's my partner, in more ways than one, if you catch my drift."

Sam hadn't thought it possible but the woman's – Celia he corrected , smile grew even wider. "When did this happen? Why didn't you say anything!" She stuck out a hand to Sam. "It's wonderful to meet you Sam." He took the outstretched hand and was quickly pulled into a tight hug. "You seem like a nice kid," Celia whispered into his ear, her warm voice had a hard edge to it. "But if you hurt him I will hunt you down and systematically destroy everything you've ever cared about, understand?"

Sam's eyes widened slightly such a forceful display of affection. "I think the attempt would destroy me first." He replied quietly, surprised to find that he believed the words.

"Good." Celia said firmly before quickly releasing him. "You two have the place to yourself, sit anywhere you like. I'll get your order started Richard and give Sam a minute to decide what he wants, everything's listed above the counter. Can I get you anything to drink doll?" She asked Sam.

"Just water's fine, thanks." He said with a small smile.

"C'mon, water? Really? Live a little Samsquatch." Gabe said, his voice a mix of exasperation and whine that was normally only capable of being produced by five year olds. Gabriel turned back to Celia, "Bring out a chocolate shake too."

Celia's lips twitched at the corner's as she observed Sam's surreptitious eye roll at Richard's comment. He was growing on her. Turning to Richard she raised an eyebrow saying evenly, "Sure thing Dick." before turning away quickly, suppressing a smile all the way to the kitchen. She hears Richards groan just as the kitchen door swings shut. He hates that nickname.

"Dick, really?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow, suppressing laugh.

Gabriel glared at him across the table, but judging from Sam's growing smile it didn't have the desired effect. "I hate that nickname, and she knows it." He muttered indignantly as he led Sam to a window booth overlooking the forest behind the diner.

As they slid in on either side Sam's smile diminished, and he gained the small wrinkle between his eyebrows that Gabe was beginning to associate with introspective discussion. "What's with the fake name Gabriel?" Sam asked quietly. He tried to make his tone joking so the angel wouldn't be put on edge by what he expected was a far more personal question than most first dates would allow.

It suddenly dawned on Gabriel that this was probably the worst place he could have taken Sam for a date. He had managed to completely fuck up the purpose of the trip, which was to help the hunter relax after a stressful day. Always have been and always will be the screw up, Gabe thought to himself. "This was a bad idea. I'm sorry." He said moving to leave. He was stopped when Sam grabbed his wrist; the man's grip was loose enough that Gabe could have pulled away if had wanted too. He couldn't seem to make himself want to.

"Stay?"

Gabriel stared at the point where Sam's hand gripped his wrist atop the table. Stay. No one – stay? He sat down slowly, and Sam released his hold. It felt odd sitting there across from someone who barely knew him, someone who should have taken one look at him and his mess and run screaming in the other direction, someone who had every reason to hate him, and feel wanted. He'll regret it, something inside him said from within the dark thorns surrounding his grace, all you're doing is proving how much of a failure you are. Daddy's Little Drop-Out. "When I first came here" Gabriel began quietly, voice resigned. "I was on a job. I was… tired, and more than a little lonely when I started." He trailed off, trying to choose his words carefully. "You know how hunters are like one big dysfunctional extended family?" Gabe waited for Sam to nod his assent before continuing. "Imagine if you were ripped away from all of them, even Dean and Bobby; totally alone. That's where I was, and it was getting to me. Then…" He stopped again, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. "I think that was the only time I ever truly hated the potential of humans. Truly hated that they were capable of being warped so thoroughly." Gabe took a small, calming breath before continuing. "The woman had been embezzling from the orphanage she ran, and on top of that if the children weren't adopted early enough she sold them on the black market for their organs. She'd named it Gabriel's Sanctuary."

Sam didn't have to ask what _it_ was. He reached across the table wrapping his hands around the angel's tightly clenched fists. Gabriel's eyes were flat and distant; Sam knew he wasn't seeing the diner anymore. He felt cold inside.

"They'd been praying to me. For years. I'd never paid attention to them. And some of these – " Gabe choked on the words. " these _kids_ were specific, Sam. They knew _exactly_ what was going to happen to them, and they begged me to save them. I wasn't even listening. I was the only thing they knew, and I didn't listen." He tilted his head back, squeezing his eyes shut in an effort to suppress the tears that had begun forming. "When I was done with _her_ –" He practically spit out the word. "I found them all good homes. It took a while, but I made it work. I posed as an FBI agent, and I made sure they ended up with parents and siblings who loved them. Celia was seven then. I checked in regularly for the first few years, but after that I left them all to live their lives. I don't think she ever really forgot what happened at the orphanage, and it caused her some trouble in the future. I kept my radio tuned in to them in case they ever needed me." He let out a shuddering breath and looked up at Sam, desperately hoping he would understand. "I couldn't be Gabriel then, so I invented Richard."

"So Celia thinks you're…" Sam trailed off.

"His son, Richard Speight Jr. After all people age and I didn't. It wouldn't have been a problem, but about ten years after the – job, Cece ran into some trouble." Gabe's expression clouded over again. "His name was Jake Atkins. Son of bitch beat the shit out of her. He was going to kill her when I showed up."

"So she knows you're an angel?" Sam asked confusedly. Gabriel just smiled that small, self-deprecating smirk, and Sam's heart broke a little bit more.

"No. I didn't want to risk using my angel mojo, so I went the human route. I shot him." A small, hysterical chuckle bubbled out of Gabriel's lips. "You know, that scumbag was the first person I ever killed. Every other time someone failed to change it was their own faults that got them in the end. I can still..." Gabe trailed off, losing himself inside his mind.

Sam squeezed the angel's hand tightly, running his thumb back and forth over Gabriel's hand. He knew there was nothing to say that could make it better. It was something that stayed with you, no matter how painful it could be to think about. Celia chose that moment to come by with their drinks. The clatter of glasses on the table broke Gabe out of his thoughts. "Thanks, Celia." He said pasting his trademark smile on his face. The expression didn't reach his eyes and he just looked – hollow.

Celia looked like she wanted to say something, but Sam shook his head slightly. He held her gaze, silently telling her he'd take care of it. After she'd retreated back into the kitchen Sam returned his focus to Gabriel. "Hey," he said softly, waiting for Gabe to look at him. "Regret, not just at taking a life but at the words we do and don't use with the people love, questioning the necessity of our actions after it's all said and done, it's what keeps us connected to our emotions, to our empathy. But if you can't learn to forgive yourself, you'll drive yourself crazy with 'what ifs'. That guilt is no less deadly than a bullet."

Gabriel looked up at Sam, his brow slightly furrowed. After everything he'd told this kid, he still cared. He was worried about him. He wanted to stay. With _him_. This human man with so much potential wanted _him_, an emotionally impaired angel who couldn't bring himself to pull his head out of his ass long enough to save children's lives. How do I deserve this guy, Dad? He looked at Sam, and all he could see was concern and love and understanding. Something inside him cracked, and suddenly he could see some light behind the thorns. "Thank you."

A crooked smile formed on Sam's face, and he had to repress the urge to lean across the table and kiss Gabriel until he ran out of air. He opened his mouth to say something about how learning to love yourself is harder than loving someone else, but all that came out was, "You're eyes look beautiful. Like sunlight through a glass of whiskey."

A broad smile spread across Gabriel's face, and Sam felt his cheeks grow hot. Did I just use the same compliment he did on me? Yes, yes I did. In fact it was the some compliment I _shot down_. Oh God, just let me disappear now before I embarrass myself anymore. His inner meltdown would have continued, except when he glanced up to gauge Gabe's reaction he saw tell-tale spots of pink high on the angel's cheeks and his ears had gone red at the tips. "Are you blushing?" Sam asked with a laugh in his voice.

Gabriel looked everywhere but across the table at Sam. "Have you even decided what you're getting yet?" He asked nodding toward the overhead menu. Gabe folded his arms across his chest and attempted nonchalance, but from the small smile still spread across Sam's face he could tell it wasn't working. "Sammich, I know I look appetizing but you can't have me for dinner." His tone was supposed to be joking, but there was an unintended edge to it that made it seem more like harsh sarcasm. He flinched inwardly at his projection of discomfort; he shouldn't be so stressed about something so inane as blushing.

Sam just smiled as he examined the menu. After growing up with Dean he saw Gabriel's comment for what it was: a plea for normalcy. He was okay with that, the archangel had done more sharing in five minutes than he likely had in the last five millennia. Sam chuckled inwardly at the irony of the whole situation; this was Gabe's idea of getting them away from stress. Looking back down at Gabriel, he let an easy smile rest over his features. "I guess I'll get the Bacon Cheeseburger then. I wouldn't want to offend Celia by not eating anything." He said taking a long sip of his shake before letting the straw go with a distinct pop. "I guess I'll just have to save you for dessert then."

Gabriel laughed, a full and throaty sound, at Sam's bold comment. "I dunno kiddo, you might have better luck getting your hands on one of Cece's sundaes. I don't put out until at least the third date; I do have standards you know." He said with a look of faux innocence on his face.

Sam was about to respond when Celia came over with their meals. "One Bacon Cheeseburger with fries, coleslaw, and fresh fruit on the side for you. " She said sliding the plates in front of Sam before turning to Richard. "And for my favorite FBI agent, steak sirloin cooked in raspberry barbeque sauce with a side of mashed potatoes, onion rings, and strawberry shortcake minus the cake." She sighed as she set down the plates. "I don't know where you put it, but sometimes I worry for your health Richard."

Sam stared at Gabe's meal. It was huge! There was sauce, not only on the steak, but the mashed potatoes and it had seeped under the onion rings. Sam was pretty sure he could smell the sugar and raspberry in the sauce. Next to that, the angel had a huge bowl of what appeared to be strawberries almost entirely covered in thick whipped cream. "I think I'm having a sympathetic heart attack." He said a look of shock and disgusted fascination on his face. Tearing his eyes away from Gabriel's monstrosity of a meal, he turned to Celia who shared a similar expression. "Thanks for the meal," He said sincerely. "How'd you know what I wanted though? We never ordered."

She smiled at Sam, and he was once again struck by how motherly she seemed. "I have a good intuition about these things. I've been working a diner for a long time." Sam was contemplating telling her that he hadn't needed the fries when she continued. "And don't worry about the fries, Richard's going to steal most of them." Celia winked at the still shell-shocked Sam before leaving them to their meal.

As they ate the couple let their conversation drift onto simpler topics, sharing little details about their passions. They talked about everything from their favorite historic eras to their favorite colors. They talked about their dislikes and the little things that people did that got on their nerves. Their meals had been finished and their plates surreptitiously cleared, but they continued to talk. Sam found he truly enjoyed Gabriel's company. The angel was intelligent, and Sam found his sense of humor grew on him. Sam's face hurt from all the smiling he'd done, and he found himself thinking that they should do this again soon. He'd missed really knowing someone, being able to share openly with another person. It was nice.

As Gabriel talked with Sam he found his sides starting to ache from laughter. He liked Sam's sense of humor, before he hadn't been sure the man knew how to joke. He was pleasantly surprised that their humor was so compatible. Gabe had been worried going into the relationship that Sam would be put-off by his knowledge of history; it was hard not to talk about the distant past like it was yesterday when you lived it. However, when Sam professed to being a not so secret history buff, Gabriel found himself engaged in a compelling conversation about seventeenth-century Italian politics. He couldn't remember the last time he had a conversation that didn't involve subterfuge and ulterior motives. Talking with Sam like this, openly, was nice.

The pair barely noticed when the sun set, and they hadn't realized how late it had gotten until Celia came over carrying a bag containing what looked suspiciously like pie boxes. "One blackberry, one strawberry-rhubarb, and one apple. Don't worry about the bill, this is on the house." She said with a soft smile before lightly kissing Gabe on the cheek. "Keep in touch." Straightening up she pinned Sam with a pointed look. "You break him, I break you. Take care of yourself kiddo." She added with a smile.

Sam nodded silently as he and Gabriel rose to leave. Gabe caught Celia's wrist before she could run back to the kitchen pulling her into a tight hug. Sam barely caught Gabriel's goodbye he spoke so softly. "Thank you. For everything. For keeping me human." Gabe pulled away quickly, linking his and Sam's arms before leading them out of the diner into the cool night air. They paused in front of one of the large front windows, and they both watched Celia move slowly back into the kitchen, a small frown marring her features. Sam was struck by how frail she seemed, how tired. He found himself re-examining Gabe's tale, noticing for the first time a flaw. "How old is she," he asked not removing his gaze from the closed kitchen door. "That she thinks you're his son?"

"Fifty-two." Gabriel said evenly. "Coming back here, seeing her again, makes me understand why Castiel was so avid in his protection of humans. I was so jaded that I had forgotten why I left my family in the first place. To find my home."

Through the windows the lights dimmed then shutoff. Sam stood silently beside the archangel, his hand now wrapped tightly around Gabriel's. All this time he'd been searching for a place, trying to settle down _away_ from everything. He hadn't even paused to think that perhaps home was not a place. It was a person, or people, and wherever they were together was where he belonged. Home was Bobby and Dean, Ellen and Jo, even Castiel. He was finding home in Gabriel, and even though it scared him a little how quickly their relationship had progressed he couldn't regret it.

"Let's go home." Sam said quietly. Gabriel looked up at him, an emotion Sam couldn't identify filled his eyes.

"I think I am."

The diner disappeared.


End file.
